19 Reasons You Don’t Need to Prep

September 13, 2013 by | 6 Comments

Prepping is exhausting work with all that planning, food storage, survival training, etc. Not to mention expensive; have you seen the price of ammunition or freeze-dried food these days? And besides, how likely are you to actually encounter a real life emergency anyway?

Maybe it’s time we stop with all this “prepping” nonsense and get back to important stuff, like finally deciding which bookshelf to order from Ikea, catching up on all the TV programs you’ve missed lately, and obsessing about the new iPhone—did you hear it’s 0.002375″ thinner than the last one?

I know you’ve invested a lot of time developing a network of carefully selected, like-minded friends who share you views and concerns, and they will try to convince you that prepping is still just as important—or more important—than ever before. To help you out, I’ve put together a handy list of 19 reasons you don’t need to prep so you can easily rebut their claims.

  1. Our economy is doing great—just look at the stock market. (Ignore that real unemployment is close to 17% and that most new jobs are low-wage, part-time jobs.)
  2. You’ll never lose your job or take a pay cut.
  3. Natural disasters, like fires, floods, and hurricanes never happen.
  4. OK, sometimes they do, but the government always steps in to help right away.
  5. Terrorist attacks only happen in other countries. (As long you don’t count events like 9/11, the Fort Hood shooting, Boston bombing, etc.)
  6. The increasing cost of food is no big deal. It’s certainly not a reason to grow your own.
  7. GMO is totally cool. We’re 100% certain there are no side effects of putting an entirely experimental technology into our bodies and that it won’t harm our ecosystem. (Even though there is plenty of evidence to the contrary.)
  8. The same goes for commercially produced meat—added hormones and antibiotics couldn’t possibly have any adverse affect on our bodies.
  9. Training for self-defense is just silly. I mean, is someone really going to kill you? Besides, if they do, I’m sure you’ll just rise to the occasion like Jamie Lee Curtis in True Lies.
  10. Guns won’t make you safer. (Except when they do.)
  11. The police will protect you. Maybe. If they aren’t doing anything else. But they don’t have to.
  12. Stocking up on weapons and ammunition is paranoid. It’s not like politicians will try to ban them or prices will go through the roof.
  13. The U.S. dollar is solid—the world has absolute trust in our financial stability. China only stopped buying our bonds because they already had enough.
  14. You’ll never find yourself in a situation where you’ll have to rely on survival skills.
  15. There will never be civil unrest in America.
  16. But if there is, the police might step in. (Forget about #11.)
  17. More citizens are dependent on some form of government assistance today than ever before in history. That recently happened in Greece, resulting in massive riots and destruction when the government ran out of money, but I’m sure it will be completely different here.
  18. Even though the world has faced multiple pandemics over the last few years, and the CDC admitted to vaccine shortages, there’s nothing to worry about—just take some echinacea.
  19. Karma, bro. Prepping is just asking for something bad to happen.

Obviously, this article is a parody. If you made it this far before noticing that, maybe it’s time for a break. 🙂

Melanie Swick (a.k.a. Survival Chick) grew up wanting to be a rocket scientist, but when she realized she that required way too much math, she took to her second dream—spending time in the wilderness. Today, when she's not hiking, camping, or hunting, she's blogging about it. You can connect with Melanie on Facebook.

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6 Comments

  • Echo says:

    well i think i read to 3 or 4 then skipped the rest of them to get to the bottom to see what the punch line was. does that count as to needing a break?? LOL

  • issinho says:

    Yep, time to take a break…I’ll take a two week pass to somewhere south of the Equator!

    It’s just too bad people don’t get some of this through their thick skulls!

  • teotwawkiandifeelfine says:

    WOW! So, by having more food than my family can eat before Friday, I’m begging to have something happen to make it go bad? Wait, not Friday? Oh, then next Friday? Hmm how about a month from now?

    “19.Karma, bro. Prepping is just asking for something bad to happen.”

    19 is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard/read. Like Christians who are convinced ‘they’ will be raptured. Um. No. No one knows who will be, if anyone is at all. If you are so convinced, why go anywhere, do anything? If God takes you while you are driving, aren’t people left behind going to be hurt by your driverless car? Why mow your lawn? It’s just going to die in Winter. Why buy insurance, God will provide. Maybe God does provide, in the form of insurance. Why vacuum the rugs, you won’t be here after you get raptured, it doesn’t matter that they are dirty. Why stop for stoplights, you are going to Heaven, what do you care? If the other person goes too, HEY I helped them go. If they don’t, “it’s their own fault…” You shouldn’t have band-aids and Tylenol, they might make you sick because you have them. Why have a roof? God will put his hand right over your house and it will never rain there or hail or …*

    On Karma, THAT person (who said that) has no clue about the true meaning of Karma. Karma is what you do to OTHERS and what is done to you in response. Karma is also lifelong, not a couple of events. It’s about the whole demeanor of your being towards ALL living things. An example: Christ said “As you judge others, so shall you be judged.” It’s all about OTHERS! What you do for/against yourself (not Karma) is ONLY related in that it balances what you do for you, vs what you do for ‘them.’ “If you love me, feed my sheep.” How can you feed the sheep with no food? Preparing is weeding the field, it’s tossing out seed, it’s watering the plants, it’s tending to the dirt and the rows, it’s harvesting the grain and threshing it out. It’s separating or grinding the grain to finally feed the sheep. That food that reaches that sheep took months to years to grow. It had to come from somewhere.

    * God does provide miracles, we just can’t see them most of the time. They come in the form of a discount, or a friend who comes to pick you up because you ran out of gas, or even a person who needs help, you are there for you, you needed to learn to help. God put you in front of the weight machine, set the weight and said “Ok, show me what you got!” God knows what we have ‘got.’ We just need to learn the lesson.

    • Jeremy Knauff says:

      teotwawkiandifeelfine, evidently you don’t know the meaning of satire. Look it up. 😉

      • teotwawkiandifeelfine says:

        Oh, I do, I just make my living as a programmer so I tend to think in straight lines. “Take my wife, please!” “Ok, where?” 🙂 {Guess I felt wordy, sorry.}

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